Unfortunately, if you have ever experienced trauma, your life has been completely upended, and you are likely struggling to cope with daily life. You may have trouble sleeping as you endure disturbing nightmares, racing thoughts, and draining insomnia.

Perhaps you have problems in relationships, whether it’s with friends, family members, or coworkers, in which you feel yourself constantly reacting to triggers. Perhaps you are frequently on edge and anxious, almost to the point of panic attacks.

Other times, you may develop deep depression where you lose the simple motivation to engage in activities that you used to enjoy. You are isolated and alone, but you also want to hide from the world since you trust no one because people have hurt you. Maybe your body is wearing down as you experience constant headaches, digestive issues, and downright fatigue.

Maybe you eat too much, or eat too little. Intimacy is a foreign concept to you. Worst of all, you think you are going crazy, that you are broken, and that no one understands you.

            Your life, right now, is hard.

The thing is – you are not alone. You are living in a fallen world in which trauma is so prevalent that nearly 70% of the population has experienced some kind of trauma in their lifetime. No wonder there is so much dysfunction and disorder in our world, full of so many hurting people.

Keep in mind that not everyone who has experienced any of these symptoms has endured trauma. Yet because 3 out of 4 people have gone through some type of debilitating ordeal, you may just be one of those who are searching for hope and healing, and want to know if it is possible to resume a normal life again.

The Three Kinds of Trauma

• The first, called “Big T” Trauma, is when your life has been threatened and in some type of mortal danger. Think natural disasters such as earthquakes or tornadoes. Think car accidents when you or others were in danger of dying. Think physical and/or sexual assaults. Think combat in war. Think being a first responder on the scene of saving the lives of others at the risk of your own. Think being involved in a school shooting.

• The second, called “little t” trauma, is non-life-threatening events. For example, perhaps in a relationship you experienced a betrayal such as an affair, or were the victim of bullies. Some experience medical trauma such as when you or a loved one endured frequent medical procedures, treatments, and hospitalizations. Others may have tremendous financial stress due to job loss. Perhaps you have, and still are, being emotionally and physically neglected or abused. Maybe you were publicly humiliated.

• The third type, which occurs before you are 18 years old, is known as Complex Trauma. Otherwise known as “death by a thousand cuts,” you were in a highly unstable, emotionally and/or physically abusive environment for days, months, or years at a time. Your parents could have been the culprits, or extended family members, even neighborhood kids, or others in authority. You were never safe. You may have been homeless. Perhaps you were surrounded by drugs and alcohol. Growing up was incredibly difficult, and you bear the inner scars of deep, unresolved wounds.

Your Brain and Trauma

Your brain does not know the difference between these types of trauma, as all of them will create in you a type of hypervigilance thanks to that necessary little pea-sized area of your brain called the amygdala. This crucial area is responsible for detecting danger, regulates your emotions, and automatically directs your body to survive.

The important thing to note is that your response is automatic, meaning that it happens so fast, literally in nanoseconds, before you can even think. These fight-flight-freeze-faint-fawn responses are known as the 5 F’s of survival.

The Five F’s of Survival

The Fight Response: When you fight and face the danger head on, your heart beats faster, your glucose level rises to give you energy, and adrenaline shoots through your body. Your breathing gets more rapid and shallow (which explains that when you are stressed, you have a hard time taking deep breaths). Your muscles get tense. You may respond with anger, or irritability, or feel like you are simply “wired”. Since only 10% of the population have this instinctual response, you will likely fit into one of the other four categories.

The Flight Response: The flight response is similar to the fight response in that you will be propelled to act, but instead of running towards the danger (such as first responders will do in an emergency), you get away from the danger as fast as you can. This is not cowardice; this is purely to ensure your survival. You will still have the adrenaline, fast breathing, etc., and may even shake once the danger has passed and the adrenaline is leaving your body.

The Freeze Response: Some people freeze, meaning they feel stuck and do not know what to think or how to act. You will be frozen in place, almost like a statue, until the danger passes and you are safe. You do not interact with the danger because the person or situation poses a high threat to your personal well-being.

The Faint Response: Animals do this very effectively in the wild so that their predator will assume they are dead and leave them be. Some will collapse onto the ground, such as someone getting attacked, because fighting an attacker who is bigger and stronger than you might get you killed. Many people feel guilty or ashamed of this reaction because they feel that they “just let it happen”, when in reality your brain reacted automatically – and without your conscious decision – to keep you alive.

The Fawn Response: People who fawn are trying to appease their attacker so that they are not abandoned or isolated. In this case, you are so afraid of losing the relationship that you will accommodate the other person’s emotions and actions so that they do not leave, even if they are toxic. Remember that God has strategically placed in us the need for community, for He states that is not good for men or women to be alone. By holding onto the relationship, then, you are ensuring your survival by protecting those crucial, albeit dysfunctional, human connections.

It bears repeating that all five of these responses are to ensure your survival. You are not broken. You are not crazy. You are not incapable. You may feel guilt and shame because of how you acted, but you were reacting normally to an abnormal situation. Your brain kept you alive, yet your amygdala may still be overreactive, scanning everywhere and everyone for some kind of threat. You are simply exhausted, feeling like you are constantly in danger, and true relaxation seems like an utter myth. Self-care feels like an unreachable, impossible dream because life, for you, is a burning heap of bottomless ashes.

Yet, God thankfully created your brain to survive, knowing that our world was going to be filled with stress and suffering. He knows you; He made you, and He gave you the skills to keep you alive with billions of intricate neurons. He created your brain to live, and He also created your brain with the ability to recover. He gave you His own breath to fill your lungs and calm down those electrified senses. As our Wonderful Counselor, He can give you that elusive peace that surpasses all understanding.

            Your trauma was incredibly difficult to endure, but what is even more difficult is living in continued dysfunction and loneliness. Processing through your trauma can be hard because you don’t want to revisit those dark places, but through processing, you will be able to shed those devastating forces and rejoin the land of the living instead of just surviving.

There are trained people who can help you, who have been trained to deal with your trauma. There are professionals whom you can trust to hear your story without judgment or criticism. They are willing to sit with you in your darkest moments, and extend to you a helping hand. They can partner with you in your faith, and help you seek God in the process.

You have a choice of which hard you are going to choose – the hard of constantly living in your unresolved trauma, or the hard of processing through your trauma for a brighter, more enjoyable and fulfilling future.

For your sake, choose hope. Choose healing and restoration. Choose life. Contact us to schedule a session for trauma and abuse recovery counseling.