There is a big difference between fear and anxiety. Fear you can point to­­­­–I am afraid of snakes. I am afraid of elevators. I am afraid of the pain when that scary little needle is going to be stuck in my arm. While these are annoying and uncomfortable, you can still function.  An extreme fear, otherwise known as a phobia, will significantly disrupt your life to the point that you cannot function, and because of this, you will avoid things, places, and people at all costs.

Anxiety, on the other hand, is an intense worry and sense of unease over an unknown future, characterized by the endlessly negative “what if” scenarios that we create in our head:

• What if my husband (or wife) starts drinking again?
• What if, according to Dr. Google,this constant fatigue means I have cancer?
• What if I lose my job, or can’t find one?
• What if this person rejects or leaves me?
• What if I can’t really trust God because it doesn’t seem like He even cares about me?

The problem is that we obsess over these scenarios over and over, trying to control the results with our thoughts, playing out every single outcome which leaves us exhausted from expending all that negative energy. Outcomes which likely will never happen in the first place, but somehow we simply can’t stop overthinking on that endless hamster wheel of what could go wrong. We find it incredibly difficult to entertain a possible positive future, and instead ruminate on a presumably frightening future.

Let’s say, for example, that you have somehow gained the unique ability to foretell the future of an upcoming stressful conversation with someone in your head– “well, if they say this, then I’m going to say this”, or “if they bring this up then I have three other things that I am going to say to prove them wrong”. Your experience tells you that 99.9% of the time the conversation does not play out like you rehearsed in your own personal, one-sided script. Just as discouraging, after the conversation, you think about all the things you wish you had said, or what they must be thinking of you. Or, you’re wondering how you should have handled things differently.

Isn’t it exhausting to live in this “what if” land?

Now comes all the physical, mental, and emotional consequences of your unchecked anxiety. First, you are absolutely a nervous wreck because your mind has not stopped racing as you have run through 1,000 worst-case scenarios that you are convinced can and will happen. Already you have prepped your mind for a bad outcome, and now you are paralyzed with making any kind of decision because they all seem hopeless. You have difficulty concentrating on simple, basic tasks because your mind is constantly wandering. You have this feeling of impending doom, like your whole world is about to fall apart.

You are likely to have difficulty sleeping because that pesky hamster wheel keeps turning, and you wake up at 3 a.m. completely unable to get back to sleep. You may have trouble even getting to sleep because your mind just goes and goes, and you find yourself staring at the wall, unable to turn off that vast, infinite expanse of unhealthy improbabilities.

You actually experience racing heart palpitations and sweaty palms. You have frequent problems that mimic IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) such as abdominal cramps, upset stomach, and diarrhea. You may experience distressing nausea. You are constantly irritable, or restless, or tense. Your body is one big ball of stress that you simply can’t relax, and your muscles ache terribly. You may sweat. You may shake, and your uncontrollable trembling is shameful and embarrassing.

You live in a world with a terrible, unknown future which robs you of any joy in your present, everyday life.

This is not the life you want. Of all the dysfunctional, debilitating mental challenges that people face–especially women and teenagers–anxiety is the most prevalent because it significantly affects every aspect of your mind, body, and spirit. Yet, only 25% seek help for their anxiety even though it is one of the most treatable issues.

Proverbs 12:25 says that while anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, a good word makes it glad. The good news–the GREAT news–is that there is hope and healing waiting for you. Did you know that there are 365 verses in the Bible that refer to our fears, worries, and anxieties? One for each day, and God obviously foreknew and prepared that we would need each and every one.

How, then, can we use these verses in practical ways? How do we stop chastising ourselves that not only do we have uncontrollable anxiety, but now I’m guilty of being a bad Christian, too?

Many people want the easy “how-to” step-by-step guide to alleviating their anxiety. Do this. Don’t do that. Self-help books flood the market with these quick fixes. What people miss is that they are throwing darts at a solution before figuring out the underlying spiritual, emotional, physical, and biological causes. Imagine if you just put a band-aid on an infected wound without first taking out the shrapnel, and then wonder why it continues to fester and become putrid.

You need to know WHY you are feeling this constant anxiety. Is it because of the way you were brought up in a horribly dysfunctional home? Is it because of your lack of faith and trust in God? Is it because your world is completely unbalanced and you have no idea how to tackle the stressors of life? Are you trying to control things that are simply out of your control?

Once you know the why, then you can effectively proceed to the how. Thankfully, there are many counselors, therapists, and pastors who have training in helping you to uncover the why that is the root of your worries.

Yes, mindfulness, deep relaxation, and breathing techniques help take the edge off. Yes, exercises can calm your nervous system. Yes, medications that can relieve the symptoms, particularly if they are biologically based. While somewhat effective, you want something in addition to these band-aids, though, for lasting healing to take place.

You want the cure that will take away these symptoms once and for all. Take the first step and reach out to someone who can help, who can not only walk you through these techniques, but can also apply the disinfectant to your wound by discovering its origin.  

You deserve to live free of anxiety, free of worry, free of nervousness. It is possible to put on the brakes and stop that wheel from turning. You have the option to live a life that is worry- and anxiety-free. For your own mental health, choose the option that helps you heal and sets you free.